Tuesday, April 07, 2009
GM Segway Puma Set to Race Dark Knight's Batpod Motorcycle
It's already been called the Race of the Year, but it may prove to be the Race of the Century. 
Shortly after the announcement of the General Motors and Segway Partnership to launch PUMA (Potentially Useless Motorized Accessory), infamous boxing promoter Don King struck a deal between Wayne Enterprises & Segway.
Puma is set to hit the streets of Gotham in 2012, but a grand spectacle like a one-on-one race with the Batpod is in order before the Puma hits the market. Rumors have circulated that GM's former CEO Rick Wagoner called the partnership a terrible idea and wasteful venture. He was then chloroformed by Timothy Geithner, and sent to the State Department, where he is awaiting a trial on his potential exile.
Now that the cat's away, the mice can play, and the remaining executives at Segway and GM are eager to see the Puma pushed to its 35-mph threshold. One unofficial source was overheard as he touted Puma's technological features to Danny Sheridan and odds-makers in Las Vegas.
Puma dominates Batpod in the aspect of technology. Sure, the Batpod has grappling hooks, cannons, and machine guns, but does it have 3G capability to change your Facebook status on the fly?
Puma's 300-pound prototype runs on a lithium-ion battery and dual electric , or as we like to call it, a hyperactive hybrid motor. Puma will also utilize wireless technology to avoid traffic backups and navigate cities.( Wayne Enterprises claims it's a blatant rip-off of Batman's sonar-enabled navigational device.)
Specs on the Caped Crusader's Cycle are classified, but eyewitnesses claim it's capable of climbing walls and leaping over traffic jams with a unique propulsion system. Lucius Fox, director of Research and Development at Wayne Enterprises, was impressed by Puma's Power, intimidating frame and innovative layout; particularly the social networking capabilities .Currently, Fox is battling GM/Segway's request for a 500 mile headstart.
Fox worries Mr. Wayne will become too cocky and let Puma pull a George-Mason-sized Cinderella Story upset.
The race date is to be announced, and the path will span from New York to Detroit, assuming that the city of Detroit is still deemed inhabitable at that time.
Posted By Matt O'Hern at 12:42 PM
Permanent Link: GM Segway Puma Set to Race Dark Knight's Batpod Motorcycle
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