Over the past few weeks Shannon has been perusing the jobs section of Space Coast Craigslist in an effort to help out a family member in need of a full time gig. During the process of finding local jobs she's uncovered some real unique positions. Since it's a holiday weekend I thought I might share some of them to help you get the weekend kicked off right.

Note: The following jobs are actual jobs that were posted on the Space Coast Craigslist jobs board, no joke.

From the "TV Video Radio Jobs" Section
Position: Film Personalities for Social Art Movie
Job Description:

...men and women to participate in a filmed interview regarding pornography and the state of today's society. This is not a porn, there will be absolutely no nudity or otherwise offensive content or behavior. Applicants should watch pornography...

Pay: $150/session
Hmmm, it's not a porno but you're required to watch pornos, interesting.

From the "TV Video Radio Jobs" Section
Position: Female Model
Job Description:

Internationally awarded photographer still needs some female models for artistic nudes. Experience is not necessary but helpful. Nice body and face is an asset. Great body and face is better, but not necessary.

Sounds like a Hooters lawsuit just waiting to happen ;)

From the "Web / Info Design" Section
Position: WEB DEVELOPMENT, DYNAMIC CONTENT, Partnership needed!
Job Description:

...looking for a young, talented, dedicated web programers with big goals...Serious college students and recent grads welcome to apply, but you must have a website displaying your work and skill-sets...

Compensation: Partnership, with goals of becoming a corporation

No joke, this guy (Leo Cortes) is looking for web designers and developers to work for free and maybe he'll incorporate the entity and then he might pay these developers. Where do I sign up?

From the "Web / Info Design" Section
Position: Jr. Web designers
Job Description: Posted in response to a job posting for junior web designers.

What is it with people who think Photoshop MASTERY and HTML/CSS MASTERY equals low pay?.

If you're looking for a student hire or really a junior web designer, which really isn't even a position, then don't ask for mastery of photoshop and html/css. Do you know how long it has taken me and other pros to become photoshop masters? 40-45K isn't bad for a student hire or beginning web person full time, but it doesn't pay for a master. C'mon, stop trying to pay nothing for something, this isn't ebay.

I thought this was a job board, not a job reply board.

Best Craigslist Job Titles
Here are some of the best job titles I came across, seriously, I can't believe people post this stuff.

• LOW BUDGET, LARGE PROJECT (I'll pay you less than anyone else, guaranteed!)
• Low Budget Adult websites needed (as opposed to high class adult web sites)
• Web Log "Blog" - Wordpress Design Project (not to be confused with we blog)
• Part Time (Seriously this is the title, just Part Time, nothing more.)
• respond to responds (respond now)
• Handyman Technician SCAM (scam is an acronym, and a bad one at that)
• E-Cig Account Executives (virtual non-smokers need not apply)
• Young, aggressive salespeople needed (the meaner the better)
• Self-Generating Sales Pro Needed (translation: if you don't make any sales then be your own customer)
• new company (but same old job)
• NAIL TECH For a day (as opposed to Doctor for a day)

And the list goes on. No wonder monster.com is still in business. Have a happy 4th of July everyone.

From the title you've probably already figured out how downsizing is related to the economy but are unable to tie 4ft x 8ft whiteboards into the picture. It's quote simple really but first I need to give you a bit of background. During the past two years I have gone from two f/t employees, to 15 employees and now down to one employee. People keep saying that the economy is to blame and that good people are being hurt by the economy and they point the finger everywhere except for where it deserves to be pointed... righ at me. Yes, I'm the one to blame for the demise of Labitat as an seo consulting company and I take full responsibility for that. Over the next couple of months I'll share some insight with you about how I broke business 101 rules left and right and how I'm paying the price for it now so you can avoid those same pitfalls.

Now getting back to the title, first off I've downsized Labitat drastically. Like I said earlier, it has gone from 15 employees to just me and even I'm not really a full time employee (since I haven't received a paycheck in close to 9 months). Secondly, the economy has nothing to do with an seo consultancy failing. SEO is the boom business in every down economy. I started my last seo firm (Global Promoter) back in 2002 when the economy was still in the dot-Bomb slump and it went gangbusters. Everyone is looking for the most cost-effective way to get new customers through their doors and seo is the cheapest, most-effective way of doing so behind word of mouth referrals. Now the 4 foot by 8 foot whiteboards. That's where the real story of the economy comes into play.

4ft x 8ft Whiteboards Represent Real World Businesses
This week I have been liquidating all of the crap that's been lying around the office. From ethernet cables to mice and from desks to adding machines, I'm getting rid of all of it. During the process I've tried to get rid of the 4 ceramic whiteboards I have in the conference room since I'll be moving out of the office at the end of July. Everyone loves the whiteboards but they all answer me with the same response... The whiteboards are great and we'd love to buy one but we don't have room. We're working from our home and the room we're working in doesn't have enough room for a full size whiteboard.

Did you see that or did you miss the connection. Small business owners today are far more likely to start or run their business out of their house than ever before. Even me, my company has been around for nearly 4 years and I'm headed home to work from the sewing slash spare bedroom slash office at my house. I'm cutting costs left and right and don't want to go bankrupt because I owe people money and I'm going to make good on my debts and that means getting rid of absolutely everything that doesn't help me generate revenue. The only reason I got an office in the first place was to accomodate all of the out of towners and employees that I had to hire to keep up with the workload that we no longer have.

So if you want a stock tip, don't buy stock in any company who's primary business is whiteboards. There are far more small businesses than there are large businesses in the world and right now they don't have the room for 4ft by 8ft whiteboards.

For the past year, I've had the privlidge of writing and editing content for this blog, but  career opportunities have led me down a new path. Before I click the "publish" button one final time, the nostalgic part of my personality compells me to list my top 10 favorite stories for MarketingShift, starting with No. 10.

10. Federal Government vs. Google Expansion Efforts

Google's growth and dominance could lead them down a path similar to the one Microsoft took before it faced the wrath of the U.S. Department of Justice.

9.Wall Street Journal Economic Map compared to Thomas P.M. Barnett's Map.

Amazing parallels were found between the global economic recession and a map created by Thomas P.M. Barnett, Barnett's map illustrates his viewpoint on globalization, which claims the world is divided by the functioning core and the “non-integrated gap". The "core" consists of economically advanced or growing countries that are linked to the global economy and bound to the rule-sets of international trade.which outlines the a New York Times best selling author and military strategist.

8.Bulletproof Clothing Becomes Mexico's New Fashion

This clothing trend turned out to be a virtual neccesity during the drug wars in early 2009.

7. GM Segway Puma vs. Dark Knight's Batpod.

The unveiling of the GM Segway Puma was just begging for a satire piece, and I couldn't resist the urge to mock the dorkiest looking vehicle I've ever seen.

6.McDonalds CMO Mary Dillon: We're Still Learning Social Networks

McDonalds CMO and Global Promotions Officer, Mary Dillon, was courteous enough to designate an hour for a bloggers-only press conference at Mplanet2009. Dillon was very honest and open about McDonalds approach to social networking.

5.Facebook and Myspace Ads: Do you click them?

71% of readers responded "Never", the next-highest vote was "Rarely", at 17%, and no readers responded "daily."

4.Gatorade: What is G? Commercial.

Gatorade's ambigous and mysterious commercial during the BCS series drove viewers to Google "What is G? As a result, Gatorade created a remarkable online buzz for the new logo and new line of flavors.

3.iTunes Gift Card Prize Giveaway - Show Us Your Griswolds

I was blown away by some of the submissions we received from around the nation, but the best house was in our own county. Jenna Crawford discovered this Shrine to Christmas decorations in Viera, Florida.

2.Pepsi 8 Pack Outrage

The incredible amount of reader mail inspired the creation of www.bringbackthe12pack.com.  Six months later, the wish was granted.

1.Joe Babiasz, Boycott Alabamanow.com vs. Richard Shelby

No story stirred up more controversy than my post describing Joe Babiasz's site against the state known as the "Heart of Dixie."

To my loyal readers, I appreciate you tagging along. It's been a great ride, full of twists, turns and other surprises along the way. In the words of one of my favorite humor columnists- Lewis Grizzard, "It wasn't always easy, but I sure had fun."

So long, everybody!

-Matt

This morning, I headed to Dunkin Donuts and decided to try something new for a change. Tired of the same old bagels and donuts, I opted for one of the eggwhite flatbreads that are featured in many of the recent "America Runs on Dunkin" ads.

As I arranged my breakfast, I put the coffee down and proceeded to unwrap the sandwich that smelled so good, only to discover a flatbread sandwhich with flatbread but a funny shape. Take a look at this pic I snapped with my iPhone.If America's running on Dunkin, we're in trouble! Do you have any pics of a terribly shaped meal from a fast food joint? If so, please share it with us.

I'm selling everything that's in my office so I can work from home again. Everything I have I've purchased new or have had made custom for my company (Labitat)

Here is a partial list of items I'm selling. I'll have the doors open all week from 8am - 5pm so feel free to stop by and look over what I have because I'm selling all of it. Everyone that comes into my office falls in love with it. I designed the office for efficiency and with minimilastic style that reflects my love for surfing, especially vintage longboards. I designed every surface from the desks to the kitchen area to mimic the look of an old balsa wood longboard with mahogany inlay. The floors are light bamboo with sand colored walls and white square trim.

IT Equipment / Computer Stuff
1 - Viewsonic 22" Monitor
2 - Viewsonic 19" Widescreen Monitors
6 - Packet 8 Phones with modems
1 - 2nd Generation iPod (80 gig)
2 - Netgear VPN firewall routers
2 - Power Tower 16 outlet 30 amp server cabinet distribution units (metered surge protection and power distribution units).
3 - APC 14 outlet 25 amp switched PDU's
3 - 8 outlet 20 amp PDU's
3 - Shelves for a standard server rack/cabinet
Tons of computer and server power cables (both single and y-cords) Y-Cords are for servers with two power supplies.
Box of ethernet cable
Bunches of premade ethernet cables
Fiber optic cables
Ethernet cable tester
Cisco 1700 series DSN router
Several keyboard/mice combos
Furniture and Fixtures
1 - Mahogany Table with 1" maple inlay 66" x 66" (hand built by local Master Craftsman Josh Rosenburg)
4 - 4ft x 8ft Ceramic Whiteboards (can't be ruined by cleaning solutions)
3 - Partner's desks with mahogany inlay (also custom built by local Master Craftsman Josh Rosenburg)
1 - L-Shaped receptionist desk
2 - Wood dining room tables (we pile stuff on them) ;)
1 - Chocolate upholstered chair from West Elm (this chair)
1 - Chocolate upholstered couch from West Elm (here's a pic)
4 - Rick Piper Pieces of art including 2 framed 62" pieces. The frames alone were $400+.
8 - executive office chairs

Extra Credit My surfboards, Herman Miller Embody Chair and my Motorized Desk
So if you've read this far then you probably know I'm a geek that loves to surf and that my office is a direct reflection of me. That being the case, here are a couple of my prize possessions that I'd also be willing to sell, but only to those of you that tell me the secret word. The secret word is "labitant".
1 - Brand new, never ridden, milk-white resin tinted, Robert August Dodger Kremel Model longboard signed by Robert August. 9'4" tri-fin. One main fin with 2 stabilizers. I bought this new from Cape Surf about 2 years ago.
1 - Mayo 9'0" singlefin longboard (bought off of my pal Andrew a few months back)
1 - 6'4" Hobie tri fin with polished glass finish. Bought this board new at Ron Jons back in the early 90's. Has never had a major ding.
1 - 5'11" March 21 old school twin fin with green resin tint finish (bought new from Roy at Watersports World in Cocoa Beach)
1 - 6'5" Lightwave stingfish. I call it the fat boy board cause it floats me pretty well (bought it used from lightwave a few years back)
1 - 6'3" Rusty thruster. Bought this new from Cape Surf a couple years ago and took it to Nicaragua and Costa Rica last December. Great board but I'm too fat, lazy and broke to try to ride her any more.
1 - custom made bamboo surfboard rack that currently holds my quiver in my office. I also had this made specifically for me and my office and it too must go.
1 - Herman Miller Embody chair (this is the latest chair by Herman Miller and is suppose to replace the Aeron in popularity).
1 - Height Adjustable desk (20" - 46") powered by hidden electric motors and has 3 memory settings. Great for when you are walking around talking on the phone and come back to your desk. You don't have to sit down and lose your train of thought since the desk and monitors are at eye level.

so much more stuff you'll just have to come by and see it because it will take too much time to list it.

The address is
Labitat Inc.
350 Tangerine Ave. Suite 5
Merritt Island, Florida 32953

We're in the Grove Street area of Merritt Island just off of North Tropical Trail. We're in the green building and do not have any signs at the street or on the windows to our office. Ask for Wingnut when you get here. If you have any questions you can call Wingnut directly at 321-459-5591.

It's hard to believe that we're more than halfway through the year, but time flies. Now that we have six months to reflect on, it's time to take a look at the tech companies I listed as the ones to watch in 2009.
Freeverse: Developed several top-selling iPhone Apps, including Flick Fishing, Flick Bowling and Wingnuts Moto Chaser. Flick Fishing became the first paid  app to hit 1 million downloads on App Store.

Epic Tilt: The company that brought you ESPN Cameraman, Pussycatt Dolls Party Pack and Be Like Lil Wayne app recently added Spelling Bee to its ESPN Arcade lineup. The next game due for release, TapStar, is a "tap-style" version of Rockband of Guitar Hero, with major bands included in the game.

Lexcycle: Was purchased by Amazon (NASDAQ:AMZN). Lexcycle created  the Stanza App, which includes hundreds of classic literary works for free reading.

China Mobile Limited:  (NYSE:CHL)China's primary mobile service launched a 3G network in March and its  subscriber base, 488.1 million ,for the enhanced network, is double the size of 2G.

Microsoft: (NASDAQ:MSFT)Following the failed Jerry Seinfeld & Bill Gates campaign to pump up Mojave sales,  MSN Live Search became Bing, a "decision engine", to simplify your search. Some analysts believe it could pose a threat to Google, but the jury is still out.

Ooyala: Founded by three former Google leaders, Ooyala has over 5,000 publishers using its syndication platform - Backlot. Ooyala's latest launch was version 2.0 of the Ooyala player, codenamed Swift, featuring:live streaming playback, support for many new ad networks, including VAST-based ad systems.

Sony: (NYSE:SE) Disappointing PS3 sales and exploding PC batteries and a layoff of 16,000 workers combined to scare investors from the tech giant. Times are still tough and Sony has lowered its expectations for the quarter.

Nintendo: The recession-proof Wii kept the video game giant on solid ground through the first few months of the year, but video game sales are down across the board, which could spell trouble in the near future.

Tech investors on Wall Street will be watching TravelZoo Inc.(NASDAQ:TZOO), which provides the best deals from 900 different  travel companies, enjoyed a 20% gain on Friday.TravelZoo has 21 offices across the globe and owns several several international domains, including Japan, Australia, Hong Kong, Taiwan, United Kingdom, and France. 

Travelzoo's featured tool,  SuperSearch, is a pay-per-click travel search tool, and 15 million users are registered on the the TravelZoo top 20,an email newsletter listing the best travel deals of the week. TravelZoo's recent momentum may reflect consumer frustration from bait and switch tactics and frustrating scams by Expedia (NASDAQ:EXPE), while Orbitz (NYSE:OWW) is stagnant. We'll keep an eye on TravelZoo this week to see if the momentum continues.

States across the nation are scrambling for solutions to their budget deficits, and as a result, online vendors may feel the squeeze from online fees, also known as iTunes tax, digital goods tax and E-tax.
North Carolina vendors could lose access to Amazon,(NASDAQ:AMZN) America's largest online retailer and reseller.
Amazon may cut North Carolina vendors if the state's E-tax is approved. Spokeswoman Patty Smith told the Wall Street Journal that Amazon views North Carolina's proposed law to collect 4.5% sales tax from online marketing affiliates "unconstitutional" and "isn't appropriate for us to have to comply with an unconstitutional burden."

Is the E-Tax unconstitutional? Yes-According to Americans for Tax Reform,  E-tax is a "complicated scheme to collect more taxes and circumvent the interstate commerce clause."  Interstate commerce clause authorizes Congress “To regulate Commerce with several States.

 stopeTaxes.com, points out why e-Taxes are bad public policy. Several points included in its list include:
eTaxes across state lines violate the Dormant Commerce Clause, which restricts states from passing legislation that burdens or impedes interstate commerce
 

• While many states are seeking to tax digital goods, some states are specifically exempting these products from taxation to entice digital vendors and other high tech companies to move to their state, create jobs, and expand the tax base.
•  E-tax will create a black market for all digital goods, with Napster serving as the example.
• StopEtaxes.com cites a 1992 U.S. Supreme Court Case, Quill v. North Dakota, which upheld that states could not require companies to collect a sales and use tax without either property or employees in the state.

When the first wave of eTax proposals started back in November, we polled you-our readers, to get your opinion on eTaxes. By an overwhelming majority,69%of you, voted against the eTax,   compared to only 15% voting for it and 15% voting-"maybe."

Only two months after the launch of China Mobile's 3G network, the subscriber base for the enhanced network is double the size of 2G. China Mobile Limited (NYSE:CHL) 488.1 million total subscribers at the start of this month.

 

 On the same day CML announced its impressive 3G growth rate, it also bought a 12% stake in Far EasTone Telecommunications Limited, which awaits approval from the two governments. Approval would mark the first agreement between Tawain and Chine since 1959, when the communist government took power.According to a report from International Law Office,the agreement will upgrade roaming service and network capabilities for both parties.

Under the agreement, Far EasTone Telecommunications will provide a testbed for Taiwan's software providers and manufacturers that are interested in the third-generation (3G) technology Time Division-Synchronous Code Division Multiple Access, a unique 3G standard adopted by the Chinese government.

With China's telecom market expanding at this rate, I wonder if CML's 3G subscribers will encounter the same connection problems that have frustrated iPhone users on AT&T's 3G network.

Timing is everything, and in today's instant gratification culture, we want our info as fast as possible, which is why Twitter Job search may prove to be a better source for job seekers. Initially, Monster and Careerbuilder supplied a database unrivaled by virtually any other sites: a national collection of job openings for every field.

During the past few years, Monster and Careerbuilder have become saturated with pyramid schemes and other get-rich quick,direct marketing listings that don't appeal to anyone seeking a professional career.

Let me preface my Twitter #Jobs search hype by conceeding that those same listings appear, but there's also an abundance of legitimate career opportunities that arise every minute. By searching #jobs + any big city,  you find openings from secondary job search sites  that you may have never found otherwise.

A perfect example is orlandojobtweet ,a helpful page for anyone in the central Florida area. Postings range from maintence chief at Coca-Cola (NYSE:KO)to teaching positions at Full Sail University, and everything in between.

With national unemployment around 10%, job seekers need every advantage they can get against competing candidates. Monster.com and Careerbuilder can't offer the frequent updates, so many jobhunters may supplement their search with Twitter, or ditch monster and careerbuilder, out of impatience.